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Entry tags:
Weight Loss, Life Goals, and Happiness
Gonna go on the stereotypically womanly post here I suppose but I was just struck with the need to write about this today.
Thanks to my step-parents, I had lots of self confidence issues when I was growing up. While I wasn't in the overweight category officially until I was sixteen, I always wore my weight well thanks to my womanly 'birthing' hips and, well, to be honest massive chest size. (I had a reductions surgery done when I was 20 and while I didn't measure myself properly before, the operation took out 6 pounds and took me down to a 38D.) Within the last 2 years though I really put a lot of weight on and all the self confidence I'd gained about myself was starting to wear down again.
Speed up to November of last year. When I went to visit my mother, my sister asked if I would join Weight Watchers with her. She'd had foot surgery done about a year ago by that point but she wasn't able to walk around as she kept having complications; leading to her going from a size 11 to a size 18. Her argument centered around the belief that we'd both stick with it if we had each other for support. Since I'd wanted to lose weight anyway, I agreed. Mentally hoping it would be the kick I needed to commit.
She quit before Christmas and has yet to try starting back up.
All alone though I stuck with it. By Christmas I'd lost about 15lbs and while it wasn't noticeable to anyone, I felt good about it. Which when you get down to it with things like this that's really what matters. Then my boyfriend purposed and I knew I'd have to commit even more as I told myself many years ago that if there was one day I didn't want to look overweight for, it was my wedding day. Holidays are of course the worst time to start diets. All that tempting holiday food that you know is delicious and what harm will those one or two cookies do...but my mental willpower, the thing I'd built up along with my self worth when I started college held firm. Things were denied politely and the few drinks I had for New Years were burned off that night and the next morning thanks in no small part from lots of sex with my fiancee. ;)
My decline kept steady after the holidays and past the three cakes for my birthday and I started to daydream about pretty sundresses for the summer. I'd never been able to wear them thanks to either larger chest size or just feeling I looked horrible in any dress I tried on, and for the first time I had the real possibility of being able to wear them. Then mid-March hit. I'd finally got myself a steady job that I enjoyed but it also left me lifting things on a semi consistent basis that weight about 30lbs. Seeing as how I hadn't done activity like that since September, my weight loss stalled as I began to put muscle back in my arms/abs in rate with my weight loss. It's finally back to a steady track now with this being the second week I've had significant weight loss since mid-March, but more importantly, this weekend has also marked the first time I've seen all of my family in form fitting spring clothes.
I know they mean to be encouraging but I swear, if one more person gasps or giggles about how I'm the disappearing woman I will not be held responsible for my actions.
Rationally though I can't blame them. I started this diet back in November at 228lbs and wearing a size 18 pants with a 40DD bra that was a touch too small. As of this morning I'm 190lbs, back in my post-op 38DD bras, and the required belt on my size 15 jeans telling me I'll need the next size down soon.
It really does feel good to be back in a size I wore for about 4 years and know that while I'll never be model perfect (my pelvic bone will never allow anything smaller than a size 9 to close around them at best guess), it excites me to realize that for the first time in my life I'll be able to go to the beach this summer feeling good about how I look and not caring about what random strangers think; forcing me to hide my body behind slim cut one suits.
...course my chest size still makes most bikini tops look obscene but the only man who's opinion on that that matters doesn't mind them being on display in the slightest. ;D
27 is shaping up to be a surprisingly good age I think.
-Nicole
Thanks to my step-parents, I had lots of self confidence issues when I was growing up. While I wasn't in the overweight category officially until I was sixteen, I always wore my weight well thanks to my womanly 'birthing' hips and, well, to be honest massive chest size. (I had a reductions surgery done when I was 20 and while I didn't measure myself properly before, the operation took out 6 pounds and took me down to a 38D.) Within the last 2 years though I really put a lot of weight on and all the self confidence I'd gained about myself was starting to wear down again.
Speed up to November of last year. When I went to visit my mother, my sister asked if I would join Weight Watchers with her. She'd had foot surgery done about a year ago by that point but she wasn't able to walk around as she kept having complications; leading to her going from a size 11 to a size 18. Her argument centered around the belief that we'd both stick with it if we had each other for support. Since I'd wanted to lose weight anyway, I agreed. Mentally hoping it would be the kick I needed to commit.
She quit before Christmas and has yet to try starting back up.
All alone though I stuck with it. By Christmas I'd lost about 15lbs and while it wasn't noticeable to anyone, I felt good about it. Which when you get down to it with things like this that's really what matters. Then my boyfriend purposed and I knew I'd have to commit even more as I told myself many years ago that if there was one day I didn't want to look overweight for, it was my wedding day. Holidays are of course the worst time to start diets. All that tempting holiday food that you know is delicious and what harm will those one or two cookies do...but my mental willpower, the thing I'd built up along with my self worth when I started college held firm. Things were denied politely and the few drinks I had for New Years were burned off that night and the next morning thanks in no small part from lots of sex with my fiancee. ;)
My decline kept steady after the holidays and past the three cakes for my birthday and I started to daydream about pretty sundresses for the summer. I'd never been able to wear them thanks to either larger chest size or just feeling I looked horrible in any dress I tried on, and for the first time I had the real possibility of being able to wear them. Then mid-March hit. I'd finally got myself a steady job that I enjoyed but it also left me lifting things on a semi consistent basis that weight about 30lbs. Seeing as how I hadn't done activity like that since September, my weight loss stalled as I began to put muscle back in my arms/abs in rate with my weight loss. It's finally back to a steady track now with this being the second week I've had significant weight loss since mid-March, but more importantly, this weekend has also marked the first time I've seen all of my family in form fitting spring clothes.
I know they mean to be encouraging but I swear, if one more person gasps or giggles about how I'm the disappearing woman I will not be held responsible for my actions.
Rationally though I can't blame them. I started this diet back in November at 228lbs and wearing a size 18 pants with a 40DD bra that was a touch too small. As of this morning I'm 190lbs, back in my post-op 38DD bras, and the required belt on my size 15 jeans telling me I'll need the next size down soon.
It really does feel good to be back in a size I wore for about 4 years and know that while I'll never be model perfect (my pelvic bone will never allow anything smaller than a size 9 to close around them at best guess), it excites me to realize that for the first time in my life I'll be able to go to the beach this summer feeling good about how I look and not caring about what random strangers think; forcing me to hide my body behind slim cut one suits.
...course my chest size still makes most bikini tops look obscene but the only man who's opinion on that that matters doesn't mind them being on display in the slightest. ;D
27 is shaping up to be a surprisingly good age I think.
-Nicole